i guess this is where i will stay
because i love him
more than anything.
well.
yea.
in a way
more than anything.
its not as bad
as i sometimes make it out to be
i just complain sometimes
because i get so frustrated
but he loves me
or else he wouldnt still be with me.
so.

my head is spiining because of that dark hair and that voice.
and i just know and know and know but it doesnt even matter.

i can't take it.
time after time.
slipping up and doing one tiny thing.
and then being ignored the rest of the night. or morning. or whenever i've managed to apparently
make you so upset
that you're just disgusted
and cant grace me with a word or two.
even though every single time
i tell you it hurts.
and this time.
i was sleeping. you woke me up.
i woke up .
even though it is three in the morning.
and then i accidentally say something
about your exstensive computer message.
and bam
its all over
youre not talking to me for the rest of the night

fuck that.
i cant handle it.
cant fucking do it.
youll wonder why
when you wake up
i never came back to bed
why im on the couch
but maybe
its because i couldnt bear
to grace you with my body
next to yours.

and i'm not magic
but you can come live with me though

that hurts
in the same way it
is so innocent

because right now
you probably wish with all your heart
that you were magic

but when it comes down to it
magic doesn't exist

i'm sick.

to get your attention.
but getting rejected hurts.
so i'm done trying.
come find me when you want me.
i'm pathetic enough i'll probably
jump right in your arms.

i'm sad.